“Sometime around early November, it begins,” I told Kellye as we gathered for a virtual cup of coffee. “I stare down the remainder of the year as an obstacle in the way of the NEXT year which will most certainly be filled with dreams come true and journals filled and goals achieved.” I don’t think I’m alone. In fact, my social media feeds are pretty chock-full of folks claiming 2020 as their year while kissing off 2019 as inadequate, flawed, broken.
We make our lists and cross our hearts in well-intentioned pledges to rose-filled futures, and we curse the switchback turns and uneven roads of our present-day realities. There are days filled with confidence and seasons where comparison’s voice shrinks ours to a whisper. We walk with a swagger on Monday and a limp on Thursday, and all the while we fight to keep up with those lists and well-intentioned pledges. The gravitational pull of the next and the weight of the now feel often more like a battle than the balance of a fulcrum.
But may I tell you what I’ve seen to be true in us? Yes, in you and me.
Our present-day realities are someone else’s list and well-intentioned pledge. That’s right. Even our wanting to give up, everything going wrong, crying out for answers, wishing the road would be smoother, finding it hard to breathe days look like light and hope to another weary soul. “So, it may sound strange, but I’ve remained in 2019 until the very end,” I shared. “I’m definitely looking forward to 2020, but I am not cursing 2019.” It’s not been a perfect year, and I’ve still got the list and the well-intentioned pledges. But it’s been a worthy year. God has remained faithful. He has been steadfast. And He has encouraged me to remain the same. Roses, thorns, and buds have been gathered. Dreams have been dreamed, journal pages written, and more than a few goals achieved. Steadfast has been my word all year. And it has taught me much about facing present-day realities. I’m still learning, to be sure.
Here’s to 2020. And 2019, I will not curse you.